Be it enacted: no person within the several States shall knowingly, willfully, or deliciously exceed their Federally Allotted Personal Volume (FAPV) as recorded upon their certificate of live birth.
Expansion beyond the FAPV requires Form 88-BIG, filed in triplicate, notarized by a licensed weights official, and accompanied by a $4.00 processing fee.
Violation constitutes Illegal Fatness in the First Degree. Penalty: mandatory brisk walking, not to exceed 20 minutes daily, for a term of no less than nine (9) months.
SUBJECT DE-1 has, at time of filing, no Form 88-BIG on record.
Remainder of page: redacted content
Attached exhibits
- — Form 88-BIG (BLANK, UNFILED)
- — FAPV Ledger, Page 402
Filed · No Action Taken
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