THE BEST OF DEWITTEAGLE
certified footage. probably not staged. probably.
LOADING FOOTAGE...
VOL. MMXXIV — NO CHARGE — NO SHAME
DEWITTEAGLE DAILY
Sunday, September 20, 2026 · LATE EDITION
WIRE: local man declares himself 'locked in' for the 400th consecutive day ✦ WIRE: gunn3rtv seen fleeing scene of unspecified stunt ✦ WIRE: sources say the wings were, in fact, too hot ✦ WIRE: stock market unaffected by chat's opinions, allegedly ✦ WIRE: mods report record low sleep, record high vibes
SETTING TYPE...
GAME SHOW IN PROGRESS ✦ NO STUDIO AUDIENCE ✦ PRIZES ARE IMAGINARY ✦ HOST IS UNQUALIFIED
Round 01
How well do you know DewittEagle?
Session score
0/0
STREAK 0
Loading questions about one guy…
Punch card · collect them all · they do nothing
DewittEagle
Challenges
Eagle level
01
0 XP banked
No challenges issued
Management is “locked in” on something else. Enjoy the free time.
rewards are emotional
Ranked by Eagle XP · updated constantly · deeply unserious
Top Eagles
the top three get nothing, loudly
Nobody has earned a single XP. The board is a blank page and that’s on all of us.
Your standing
Unranked and anonymous
Cold storage · artifacts · things that should not exist
The Archive
dig at your own risk
Nothing in the drawer. Suspicious.
we kept everything, unfortunately